Adopt Some Novel Ideas Pt. 13

1. Dear Lord, give me patience and give it to me NOW!!!

2. C1: I love you. *Kisses C2*

C2: Thanks, but you’re aware that I’m currently kidnapping you, right?

3. I’m a nice person, but these shmucks are enough to make me break 6 of the 10 Commandments.

4. Aww, it’s so cute. I wanna strangle it. 0.o

5. If that’s a problem, close your eyes, shut your mouth, and go hide under a rock.

6. Sorry, I don’t speak karate.

7. My mom says that if I don’t stop playing this song, she’ll smash my head into this keyboard. Lol I think she’s just asd;lkjaopgi jlvfdmfb./dfbkdfb fld;dfg gf

8. Difficulty level: Asian.


I’m going back to writing poems. This time I’ll try to experiment with different poetry styles and categorize them as such.

Don’t be a stranger! Leave a comment and tell me what you think of my plethora of witty dialogues/quotes so far!


Adopt Some Novel Dialogue Pt. 12

1) C1: Darling, how many times must I tell you to stop judo-flipping your classmates whenever you’re having a quarrel?

C2: But I’m competent, Mom!

C1: You’re eight!

2) C1: Trust me!

C2: Last time I did, I got shot. So no.

3) Sorry, I speak American.

4) If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving is not for you!

5) Next time you wave, use all of your fingers. Please?

6) Whoever believes in telekinesis, raise my hand.

7) Always remember that you’re unique, just like everyone else.

8) Auntie Em: hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog with me. -Dorothy.

9) Don’t drive and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink.


4 through 9 I believe I copied from somewhere on the internet — but they were too good to pass up. 

Adopt Some Novel Dialogue Pt. 11

1. Yes, I know the plan is both crazy and brilliant. Crazy-brilliant. A pity that more people don’t ask me, “Honey, how is some barbed wire, a rake, and a pet turtle gonna help us make a proper getaway?” instead of making cuckoo signs behind my back.

2. C1: Oh, C2, C2, I’ve missed you so much…

C2: I was only gone for a few hours! Are you okay?

C1: You have no idea! *Hugs C2*

C2: Okay, yeah, I’m calling the doctor.

3. *Shows photo* Have you seen this thief? He has stolen my heart and I need it back ASAP.

4. Okay, now you can faint.

5. Russians…rebelling against authority since 1917.

6. Well, coming from a trigger-happy maniac like you, I guess it’d make sense that you’d name your gun Peek-A-Boom. 

7. You’d better leave now for your safety…my sadistic tendencies are creeping up on me again.

8. For the last time, no! I didn’t steal your cat and eat it! I don’t care if I’m from [name of country]. You’re making me look bad!

9. C1: You’re insane!

C2: Honestly, are you that dense? I thought you knew that already.


Side note of the day: I’m seeing quite sharp rise in subscribers. Whooo! Keep up the count, people! I’m stoked! Good night!

Adopt Some Novel Dialogue Pt. 10

1) Congratulations, you just won the Poolitzer Prize for crappiest journalism ever.

2) C1: Guys, it’s confirmed! C2 is in love!

C3: And why do you think so?

C1: She’s doing sappy-talk in Italian again — you know, the language of love and all?

3) C1: Why didn’t you just kill me when you had the chance?

C2: Because I don’t just kill people, you know. Plus, I love you.

4) At first sight, I thought my captor’s face looked like that of an angel’s. Even when she waved that shotgun at my face, she was still an angel to me — an angel with a shotgun, that is. Oh, wait…that’s my Stockholm syndrome kicking in again.

5) *Facepalm* Mental note to self: never recruit another hormonal teenager for this job.

6) C1: Wow! Shut! Up!

C2: Shut up.

C1: I know, right?

C2: No. “Shut up,” as in, “shut up” shut up.

7) He’s the type of person who would bite off a lipstick chunk just because it smells yummy.

8) C1: I wish I lived in your shoes, so I could be with you every. Step. Of. The way.

C2: I wish I was Clorox bleach so I could drink myself for your cringy pick-up line I get told.

9) C1: Did you just assume my relationship status?

C2: Why, yes, you special snowflake.



Adopt Some Novel Dialogue Pt. 9

1. This is why I hate secret agents. First you think they’re on your side but nooo, they’re actually on the other team. Then they make this huge scene of repenting and coming back to the good side, and even then they still have questionable motives. Hence the term, “Double-double agents.”

2. Death: the solution to all the world’s problems. That or Nutella. Choose one.

3. C1: Why do you curse at people in [foreign language]?

C2: Because it’s cooler to condemn people in [foreign language].

4. …Because I’m freaking Batman, baby! [jumps off building]

5. C1: You-you just saved my life.

C2: Duh! I don’t just let people die off like that! It would hurt the economy!

6. I’ll hold, you punch.

7. He does his talking with an axe. Go figure.

8. If what he says really is true, then my name is Princess Anastasia!

9. Right to bear arms? Ridiculous. Did you know that in my country, we have rights to entire bear?



Adopt Some Novel Dialogue Pt. 8

  1. Oh, dear. You look unusually cheerful today. What happened, where did it happen, and whose sorry butt should I apologize for this time?

2. Goodbye. I will miss the days when we tried to kill each other.

3. Within time you’ll be so famous that we’ll even get reports on what time of the day you normally take a dump.

4. C1: Did you know? A wet towel works as well as an actual whip.

C2: That’s why next time, don’t waste your money on a makeshift rope on Amazon for twenty bucks.

5. Ooh, snarky. I have a feeling we’re gonna get along great together.

6. ‘Man up or shut up’ is my motto.

7. C1: Wanna know how to test someone’s innocence? Order them to kick a puppy.

C2: You sadist! How dare-! Oh…

C1: Exactly.

8. C1: He’s ugly.

C2: Hey, you apologize right now!

C1: I’m sorry he’s ugly!

9. I’m used to the unexpected. I became friends with one of the most wanted terrorists on Facebook, nearly got decapitated by cucumber, and was an involuntary participant in the Beer Can Appreciation Day festival. But I never expected you, YOU of all people, to fall in love with me.


Adopt Some Novel Dialogue Pt. 7

  1. I tried making him fall in love with me. The plan backfired.

2. C1: C’mere, I wanna show you something interesting.

C2: Oh, dear, not another viral YouTube rap battle?

3. C1: Y-you’re alive!

C2: *Slaps C1* Of course I’m alive, stupid! I’m only back cuz I can’t afford dying, the mess you dumbos would stir up in my absence. My girlfriend would commit suicide. Mom would get sick. My little brother would steal my room. And you? You’ll only cry, blubber about my awesomeness, erect a gold statue of me and I dunno, maybe even name the next cure after me, which would be frankly embarrassing. What, you’re blubbering now?! You know what, never mind…c’mere and gimme a hug, you hopeless crybaby.

4. C1: Hang on to your butts, folks; we’re about to engage in mortal combat. But leave [Villain] to me…I will fight him myself. It will be long. Painful. And dramatic.

C2: Uh-huh, so would you like a soundtrack to go with that?

5. ‘Mortal combat’? I hope you guys have insurance for pay for all the damage, the hell you guys will create.

6. Oh, you think you’re embarrassing? I once caught myself humming a Barney song at my great-aunt’s funeral.

7. Man…ugh…I sure didn’t see the blaring “This is nothing like Halo!” warning sign on the hero contract when I signed up for this.

8. C1: Thanks. You know, for the hug.

C2: I did it so you could shut up. (Bonus points if C1 has a crush on C2, and double bonus points if C2 also likes C1 back but is trying to hide it)

9. I know you wanna snap my neck for asking you — like the way you snapped that toothpick — but please?


Adopt Some Novel Dialogue Pt. 6

*Looks at calendar. Blanches.* Is Nanowrimo really over? Well, I’ve got more interesting dialogues up my sleeve, so here you go:


1. C1: So I asked an Asian guy if he knows what a chink is. Unfortunately, he also knew kung fu…

C2: And that, my friend, is why racists are a danger to themselves and society.

2. We were supposed to be a team! You know, let wounds heal, scars fade, forget it all ever happened! But hooo no, you just had to play the “My-father-killed-your-father” card all over again.

3. She’s so brilliant that ever her cussing sounds smart.

4. I’m anything but realistic.

5. So…I guess that’s what an internet troller looks like. You disappoint me.

6. C1: You-you lied!

C2: I make a pretty convincing liar, don’t you think?

7. Gun and bazookas and toothpaste, sure, you never forget to pack those for dire situations, but why do you always forget to pack the food? Haven’t you heard of starvation?

8. C1: Hey, are you two, like, a thing?

C2: Chew on this, mister: I stalked him, threatened him, shot him, kidnapped him, fought him, threatened him again, and psychologically tortured him all in the course of three months. So how can we possibly be a couple?!

9. C1: …Girls do crazy things when you’re in love. Your point?

10. C1: C4 is totally mine!

C2: No, he’s mine!

C3: *Puts blade at C4’s throat* Nope. You want him? Better get through me first.



Adopt Some Novel Dialogue Pt. 5

1:30 in the morning, a time when I should either 1) finish up my math homework and get to bed, or 2) skip the homework altogether and just get to bed right now. Awkward. Either way, here you go, all ye wrimos and non-wrimos alike:


1) Is there a superpower called Idiocracy? Because it totally fits you.

2) Hey, there are at least 20 ways to say, “I’m sorry” in Japanese. So what part of ‘sorry’ do ya wanna hear, stupid?!

3) C1: This music video gives me cancer.

C2: Why does everything always give you cancer?

4) Sweetie, you don’t simply stab your classmate just because he stole your cupcake…you also have to do the same to all his friends, burn their bodies, and scatter their ashes where everyone can see them. (Perfect for a setting where a child attends assassin school)

5) C1: Nice to meet you!

C2: Ummm, nice to meet you too!

C3: For the record, I ship you both.

6) C1: Why are you stalking me?!

C2: Well, it all started with the time the fortune cookie told me that I will marry a girl with a pretty face but feisty disposition. Are you that girl?

7) C1: It- it just can’t be! It’s like telling me Napoleon wasn’t short

C2: Historically speaking, Napoleon wasn’t short.

8) C1: I’m so pathetic! Even my name is ugly!

C2: No, no, sweetie, you’re not! Heck I even named the stray after you! (Quote can be used if C2 is being a sarcastic brat on purpose, but it can even be used by a well-intentioned do-gooder who means well but only succeeds in being unintentionally insulting all the time)

9) C1: You’re insane!

C2: Oh, yea? And who’s the skeptic that told you otherwise?!

10) Joke’s on you, you’re married to me.


Happy Thanksgiving!

Adopt Some Novel Dialogue Part 4

If I’m not busy doing homework, then I’m probably busy writing a novel for NaNoWriMo. Expect me to come into the sunlight after the end of this month. Meanwhile, here are some more lines and dialogues for all you aspiring writers out there!


1) C3: *Walks in onto C1 and C2, who argue all the time* You guys just love to argue with each other a lot! Why don’t you two marry already?

2)  C1: That’s it, we’re ruined! Screwed! Done for!
     C2: I blame the hippies.
     C1: *Glares* Why do you always blame hippies for society’s problems?
3) C1: Now would be good time to stick my head into the sand, like an ostrich.
     C2: Correction: Ostriches don’t stick their heads into sand. That’s a myth. Only dummies do that.
     C3: Then I’ll do it like a dummy.
4) C1: Ack! Don’t look at me, I’m naked! Oh wait *facepalm*, I forgot, I’m invisible. That’s the whole point.
5) C1: What was his answer?
    C2: Something R-rated.
6) *C1 reveals a taser.*
     C2: Hey, that looks similar to a Doctor Who one!
     C1: *Zaps C2 with taser* Yea, and works like it, too!
7) “You should join the KKK: krazy, kookoo and kracked, like you.”
8) “Is there a superpower called Superidiocy? Because it totally fits you.”
9) C1: Shoot him!
      C2: Cut off his head!
      C3: I say shoot him, then cut off his head. Then shoot his head for good measure.
10) C1: I like you.
      C2: *Slaps C1 in the face*
     C1: Ow! What was that for?!
     C2: Oh, I dunno…I read somewhere that that’s girls’ favorite pastime. Deal with it! 😉