To Mr. Cheerio Diddly-Dee

 

Well, dude – you’re a sap!

You think you’re cute, cuddly and so nice –

Really? You, a lucki-o diddli-doo ol’ chap?

You said, “I love you” – ya should’ve known the price!

Oh yeah, I’ve had my share of guys, too,

Beats me why they’ve got to be so callous;

Now my priorities are confused – what to do?

I mean, it’s not like a girl has a phallus!

***

Look, I understand the friendzone,

I know how it must feel;

But even you yourself said you’re good-for-nothing prone

And you have the kisser of a moray eel!

Your diddli-dee life is plastered online, I see –

Am I – obsessing? Or is it a spiteful bluff?

Well, no, I hate you because your imperfections embody me!

And is one “me” really not enough?