1:30 in the morning, a time when I should either 1) finish up my math homework and get to bed, or 2) skip the homework altogether and just get to bed right now. Awkward. Either way, here you go, all ye wrimos and non-wrimos alike:
1) Is there a superpower called Idiocracy? Because it totally fits you.
2) Hey, there are at least 20 ways to say, “I’m sorry” in Japanese. So what part of ‘sorry’ do ya wanna hear, stupid?!
3) C1: This music video gives me cancer.
C2: Why does everything always give you cancer?
4) Sweetie, you don’t simply stab your classmate just because he stole your cupcake…you also have to do the same to all his friends, burn their bodies, and scatter their ashes where everyone can see them. (Perfect for a setting where a child attends assassin school)
5) C1: Nice to meet you!
C2: Ummm, nice to meet you too!
C3: For the record, I ship you both.
6) C1: Why are you stalking me?!
C2: Well, it all started with the time the fortune cookie told me that I will marry a girl with a pretty face but feisty disposition. Are you that girl?
7) C1: It- it just can’t be! It’s like telling me Napoleon wasn’t short
C2: Historically speaking, Napoleon wasn’t short.
8) C1: I’m so pathetic! Even my name is ugly!
C2: No, no, sweetie, you’re not! Heck I even named the stray after you! (Quote can be used if C2 is being a sarcastic brat on purpose, but it can even be used by a well-intentioned do-gooder who means well but only succeeds in being unintentionally insulting all the time)
9) C1: You’re insane!
C2: Oh, yea? And who’s the skeptic that told you otherwise?!
10) Joke’s on you, you’re married to me.