- Oh, dear. You look unusually cheerful today. What happened, where did it happen, and whose sorry butt should I apologize for this time?
2. Goodbye. I will miss the days when we tried to kill each other.
3. Within time you’ll be so famous that we’ll even get reports on what time of the day you normally take a dump.
4. C1: Did you know? A wet towel works as well as an actual whip.
C2: That’s why next time, don’t waste your money on a makeshift rope on Amazon for twenty bucks.
5. Ooh, snarky. I have a feeling we’re gonna get along great together.
6. ‘Man up or shut up’ is my motto.
7. C1: Wanna know how to test someone’s innocence? Order them to kick a puppy.
C2: You sadist! How dare-! Oh…
8. C1: He’s ugly.
C2: Hey, you apologize right now!
C1: I’m sorry he’s ugly!
9. I’m used to the unexpected. I became friends with one of the most wanted terrorists on Facebook, nearly got decapitated by cucumber, and was an involuntary participant in the Beer Can Appreciation Day festival. But I never expected you, YOU of all people, to fall in love with me.