Adopt Some Novel Dialogue Pt. 5

1:30 in the morning, a time when I should either 1) finish up my math homework and get to bed, or 2) skip the homework altogether and just get to bed right now. Awkward. Either way, here you go, all ye wrimos and non-wrimos alike:

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1) Is there a superpower called Idiocracy? Because it totally fits you.

2) Hey, there are at least 20 ways to say, “I’m sorry” in Japanese. So what part of ‘sorry’ do ya wanna hear, stupid?!

3) C1: This music video gives me cancer.

C2: Why does everything always give you cancer?

4) Sweetie, you don’t simply stab your classmate just because he stole your cupcake…you also have to do the same to all his friends, burn their bodies, and scatter their ashes where everyone can see them. (Perfect for a setting where a child attends assassin school)

5) C1: Nice to meet you!

C2: Ummm, nice to meet you too!

C3: For the record, I ship you both.

6) C1: Why are you stalking me?!

C2: Well, it all started with the time the fortune cookie told me that I will marry a girl with a pretty face but feisty disposition. Are you that girl?

7) C1: It- it just can’t be! It’s like telling me Napoleon wasn’t short

C2: Historically speaking, Napoleon wasn’t short.

8) C1: I’m so pathetic! Even my name is ugly!

C2: No, no, sweetie, you’re not! Heck I even named the stray after you! (Quote can be used if C2 is being a sarcastic brat on purpose, but it can even be used by a well-intentioned do-gooder who means well but only succeeds in being unintentionally insulting all the time)

9) C1: You’re insane!

C2: Oh, yea? And who’s the skeptic that told you otherwise?!

10) Joke’s on you, you’re married to me.

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Happy Thanksgiving!

Adopt Some Novel Dialogue Part 4

If I’m not busy doing homework, then I’m probably busy writing a novel for NaNoWriMo. Expect me to come into the sunlight after the end of this month. Meanwhile, here are some more lines and dialogues for all you aspiring writers out there!

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1) C3: *Walks in onto C1 and C2, who argue all the time* You guys just love to argue with each other a lot! Why don’t you two marry already?

2)  C1: That’s it, we’re ruined! Screwed! Done for!
     C2: I blame the hippies.
     C1: *Glares* Why do you always blame hippies for society’s problems?
3) C1: Now would be good time to stick my head into the sand, like an ostrich.
     C2: Correction: Ostriches don’t stick their heads into sand. That’s a myth. Only dummies do that.
     C3: Then I’ll do it like a dummy.
4) C1: Ack! Don’t look at me, I’m naked! Oh wait *facepalm*, I forgot, I’m invisible. That’s the whole point.
5) C1: What was his answer?
    C2: Something R-rated.
6) *C1 reveals a taser.*
     C2: Hey, that looks similar to a Doctor Who one!
     C1: *Zaps C2 with taser* Yea, and works like it, too!
7) “You should join the KKK: krazy, kookoo and kracked, like you.”
8) “Is there a superpower called Superidiocy? Because it totally fits you.”
9) C1: Shoot him!
      C2: Cut off his head!
      C3: I say shoot him, then cut off his head. Then shoot his head for good measure.
10) C1: I like you.
      C2: *Slaps C1 in the face*
     C1: Ow! What was that for?!
     C2: Oh, I dunno…I read somewhere that that’s girls’ favorite pastime. Deal with it! 😉