1) C1: Evil forces are coming into this world…
C2: *Gasp* You mean…a zombie apocalypse?
C1: Duh, no, don’t be silly, zombies don’t exist!
C2: Well, stop being so dramatically ambiguous! For all I know, the government will ban cupcakes and make us hop on one foot with crossed eyes while while singing “I’m a Little Teapot” forwards and backwards. *Shudders* Whoever bans cupcakes is pure evil.
2) First shape-shifter: I’m an elephant! *Turns into elephant*
Second shape-shifter: I’m a mouse! Everyone knows elephants are afraid of mice! *Turns into mouse*
First shape-shifter: Oh, silly, don’t you know that’s a myth?
Second shape-shifter: Oh. Ok. Well what about THIS? *Turns into Adolf Hitler*
First shape-shifter: *Freaks out in elephant form*
Second shape-shifter: Ha! even elephants are afraid of Hitler. Boy, that’ll kick some butt.
3) C1: Let ‘er rip! *Shoots but force of the blast propels C1 backwards*
C2: “Let ‘er rip”? Seriously?
C1: Hey, it’s my first battle!
4) Old granny with a gun: *Kicks store door open with foot and points gun; has a crazed look on face* Heeeere’s Johnny!
5) C1: *leans forwards to resuscitate nearly-drowned and unconscious C2*
C2: *Surfaces to consciousness with a jerk and spits water into C1’s face* STOP!!! DON’T KISS ME!!
C1: There’s a difference between a “kiss” kiss and a kiss of life, you know.
6) C1: *Pestering C2 who gives C1 the Silent Treatment* Come on, C2! Say something, do something, anything! I want an answer from you!
C2: *Sucker-punches C1* Was that what you wanted?
7) *Whenever anything at all goes wrong* “Thanks, (Person who is constantly blamed for everything)”
8) A perpetually angry C1: All right, I’ve had it, I’ve had it! That’s it! That’s the last time this bumbling, blithering old crone gets her way. Next time, I’ll-” *Trips and falls, not for the last time in the story*
C2: Yo, dude, you might wanna work on your anger issues? It’ll be healthier for you
9) C1: Sadly, my friends, as of this moment, I will have to depart. Au Revoir, au Revoir, parting is such sweet sorrow… *Turns to part…and lands in a hole. Gets up* THAT WASNT IN THE SCRIPT!