I’d update more, but all of a sudden I got bored. And busy. Lol.
1. I WASN’T THAT DRUNK.
2. Girl: *sees a guy* Ooh! He’s so cute! Can I keep him
3. C1: Look, sir, I’m on the run from a bipolar sociopathic sadist with allies up his allies, and if I haven’t dropped dead before he’s chasing me down, we’re doomed!
C2: Look, hon, I’m a Social Security clerk, not a psychotherapist. And I’m certainly not a psychiatrist either, which you need to check out. You know, for your melon.
C1: This is serious! In another minute I-
C2: -could die, yes, I know; that’s what social security is for. Your number, please?
4. On a scale of 0 to 200, you are simply the lowest common denominator of intellect.
5. C1: Oh, come on, I don’t see what’s so wrong abut C3. She’s spunky, cheerful, sweet, loves puppies, and-
C2: She was an unhealthy obsession with guns. Watch…
C3: *Polishing a Dragunov sniper rifle while grinning* Soon…soon…
6. The bad guys’ plans are simple: kill off our race, preserve living space for [enemies’ preferred race], and kill anyone else who disagrees. Basically make a reign of terror.
C2: Hey! Sounds just like Hitler!
C3: So much for the ‘history repeats itself’ part.
7. C1: Duuude, how can you possible even think of me having a thing for C3?! It’s not like I care abut his puppy-dog clumsiness, his witty one-liners… *sniff*… the way he brushes his air out of his face… *sniff sniff* the way he flashes his cute lopsided smile at me every time I save him from accidentally mutilating himself with those stupid bread knives… *Bursts into hysterical tears*
More coming soon!