Hi-yo! Since NaNoWriMo(National Novel Writing Month) is approaching, I am taking a little break from poems for now. I signed onto the WriMo challenge of writing a total of 50,000 words in November — yes, an entire month! So I may be out a while, but I till then, I am happy to post bits of interesting/funny/witty lines and dialogues, which I have collected over the last few years. Lots I made up all by myself, some are partly composed, and a few others aren’t original but are too good to pass up. Who knows? Maybe in the future I’ll even post summaries and tidbits from the novels I’m writing.
I wrote these to post in the Adopt a Dialogue forum in the Adoption Society page, which you can find here. To all NanoWriters of this coming month…I wish you utmost success at reaching your goal!
1) C1: You’ve gotta be kidding me!
C2: Me? Kidding you? Stand-up comedy isn’t my only profession, hon.
2) C1: Ready for this?
C2: Absolutely NOT!
C1: Well spoken. *pushes off ledge* Now tell that to the ground!
3) C1: You quit your sassing right now, son, or I’ll smack ya all the way to New York!
C2: We are in New York, duh. *C1 smacks him.*
4) C1: I think I finally got my temper under control! Come on, try me.
C2: Aw, is that C1? She’s so cute!
C3: *Blows fuse*
5) “NO, SHUDDUP, ROMANTIC MUSIC! I AM NOT GONNA LET YOU DEFINE MY LOVE LIFE OR MY FUTURE HUSBAND!” (Bonus points if the speaker accidentally falls into guy’s arms right before romantic music blares on)
6) C1: Hi! I’m C1, and I am a new recruit!
C2: I’m C2, and I eat wannabes like you.
C1: Excuse me? I have a Neutrino 3000.
C2: Neutrino 5000 here.
C1: My brother is a black belt, and he can lam you.
C2: Well, my brother is a sumo wrestler.
C1: My great-uncle has a Katyusha!
C2: Yea?! I have an espionage team at my disposal, a variety of machine guns, and a girlfriend! Take that, pea brain.
C1: MY HEAD IS BIGGER THAN YOURS!
C3: Ugh! So immature! And I thought you guys worked with peace treaty relations!
7) “I WASN’T THAT DRUNK.”
8) “Ooh! He’s cute! Can I keep him?”
9) C1: Look, sir, I’m on the run from a bipolar sociopathic sadist, and if I haven’t dropped dead before he’s done hunting me down, humanity is doomed!
C2: Look, hon, I’m an insurance agent, not a psychotherapist. And I’m certainly not a psychiatrist either, which you definitely need to check out. You know, for your melon.
C1: This is serious! Why, in another minute I-
C2: -could die, yes, I know; that’s what life insurance is for. Your number, please?