I’d update more, but all of a sudden I got bored. And busy. Lol.
1. I WASN’T THAT DRUNK.
2. Girl: *sees a guy* Ooh! He’s so cute! Can I keep him
3. C1: Look, sir, I’m on the run from a bipolar sociopathic sadist with allies up his allies, and if I haven’t dropped dead before he’s chasing me down, we’re doomed!
C2: Look, hon, I’m a Social Security clerk, not a psychotherapist. And I’m certainly not a psychiatrist either, which you need to check out. You know, for your melon.
C1: This is serious! In another minute I-
C2: -could die, yes, I know; that’s what social security is for. Your number, please?
4. On a scale of 0 to 200, you are simply the lowest common denominator of intellect.
5. C1: Oh, come on, I don’t see what’s so wrong abut C3. She’s spunky, cheerful, sweet, loves puppies, and-
C2: She was an unhealthy obsession with guns. Watch…
C3: *Polishing a Dragunov sniper rifle while grinning* Soon…soon…
6. The bad guys’ plans are simple: kill off our race, preserve living space for [enemies’ preferred race], and kill anyone else who disagrees. Basically make a reign of terror.
C2: Hey! Sounds just like Hitler!
C3: So much for the ‘history repeats itself’ part.
7. C1: Duuude, how can you possible even think of me having a thing for C3?! It’s not like I care abut his puppy-dog clumsiness, his witty one-liners… *sniff*… the way he brushes his air out of his face… *sniff sniff* the way he flashes his cute lopsided smile at me every time I save him from accidentally mutilating himself with those stupid bread knives… *Bursts into hysterical tears*
More coming soon!
Hi-yo! Since NaNoWriMo(National Novel Writing Month) is approaching, I am taking a little break from poems for now. I signed onto the WriMo challenge of writing a total of 50,000 words in November — yes, an entire month! So I may be out a while, but I till then, I am happy to post bits of interesting/funny/witty lines and dialogues, which I have collected over the last few years. Lots I made up all by myself, some are partly composed, and a few others aren’t original but are too good to pass up. Who knows? Maybe in the future I’ll even post summaries and tidbits from the novels I’m writing.
I wrote these to post in the Adopt a Dialogue forum in the Adoption Society page, which you can find here. To all NanoWriters of this coming month…I wish you utmost success at reaching your goal!
1) C1: You’ve gotta be kidding me!
C2: Me? Kidding you? Stand-up comedy isn’t my only profession, hon.
2) C1: Ready for this?
C2: Absolutely NOT!
C1: Well spoken. *pushes off ledge* Now tell that to the ground!
3) C1: You quit your sassing right now, son, or I’ll smack ya all the way to New York!
C2: We are in New York, duh. *C1 smacks him.*
4) C1: I think I finally got my temper under control! Come on, try me.
C2: Aw, is that C1? She’s so cute!
C3: *Blows fuse*
5) “NO, SHUDDUP, ROMANTIC MUSIC! I AM NOT GONNA LET YOU DEFINE MY LOVE LIFE OR MY FUTURE HUSBAND!” (Bonus points if the speaker accidentally falls into guy’s arms right before romantic music blares on)
6) C1: Hi! I’m C1, and I am a new recruit!
C2: I’m C2, and I eat wannabes like you.
C1: Excuse me? I have a Neutrino 3000.
C2: Neutrino 5000 here.
C1: My brother is a black belt, and he can lam you.
C2: Well, my brother is a sumo wrestler.
C1: My great-uncle has a Katyusha!
C2: Yea?! I have an espionage team at my disposal, a variety of machine guns, and a girlfriend! Take that, pea brain.
C1: MY HEAD IS BIGGER THAN YOURS!
C3: Ugh! So immature! And I thought you guys worked with peace treaty relations!
7) “I WASN’T THAT DRUNK.”
8) “Ooh! He’s cute! Can I keep him?”
9) C1: Look, sir, I’m on the run from a bipolar sociopathic sadist, and if I haven’t dropped dead before he’s done hunting me down, humanity is doomed!
C2: Look, hon, I’m an insurance agent, not a psychotherapist. And I’m certainly not a psychiatrist either, which you definitely need to check out. You know, for your melon.
C1: This is serious! Why, in another minute I-
C2: -could die, yes, I know; that’s what life insurance is for. Your number, please?
I had the honors of reciting this poem in memory of my uncle during the Celebration of Life memorial. You will be missed.
Now that your angels have come to take you home
Today I commemorate to you this simple poem
You were the definition of one who never said die
Someone who wholeheartedly thrived
Like that one time you fell through a building
And somehow, you survived
You took life by the reins
Lived it to the fullest
Skiing, running, hiking, camping and more
You inspired us with your boundless zest
Which is why we never thought you’d be gone
One slip, and it affects everyone
Hence why we celebrate life
With its glory, its gladness,
Its sadness, its strife
Today we celebrate you
To us you’re not truly gone
You live on in our Heidelmann home
And the mountains
And the tender trails
On any soil, where nature lovers roam
You know, this club reminds me
Of your joyous spirit still
We’ll carry on,
Keeping you alive in our hearts we always will
In loving partings and embraces
If anyone asks, I guess this would sum up what my love life is like.
Every blood-chilling song
Is saturated of you.
All the familiar scents
Become the fragrance of you.
I keep looking up
Expecting a presence dear
As though you were
Flitting somewhere near
Funny how your shining essence
Screws me over once, twice more
Am I enough?
I have no strength
To endure you, you I so adore
I want to reach out to you
This moment, blink-and-you-missed;
How ironic that though you’re so real
To each other we don’t even exist.
For anyone who has ever experienced isolation of any form.
I am a raven
I am white
Out of sight
They peck at
You think you’re
Someone’s writing desk
Yet your screams
Scream of the
I pluck my feathers and I call
For birds of my flock
Much as they cast me down, I fall
Across the wind of life
‘Neath the broken skin and plumage
My down is their own color
No matter; in wild detachment I rummage
Throughout the winds of life
Zephyrus, listen to me now
You rein my own path;
Only you can steer how
I travel the wind of life
With this mantra
I have no choice
But to continue
To fly on this wind of life …