Oh! You Rusty Old Garbage Can!

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Next time a posh ad tries to sell you one of those automatic garbage cans that open and close at your convenience, don’t believe it. Why? Because these modern gadgets SUCK! 

*****

This rusty old garbage can

I’m talking about

Costs us an

Uproar and a shout

*

You rusty old tin can!

I hate you!

*

In the kitchen

There it stands

Readily, maliciously

Taking garbage into hands

*

You rusty old tin can!

I loathe you!

*

It hungrily swallows up

The rot, asking for more

Its mouth endlessly gapes

Whirring, whining our ears sore!

*

You rusty old tin can!

I detest you

*

Every twitch and move it senses

Opening up – wide! – and to plead!

Released from within is the deepest stink

That fills up this choked-up air – oh, the weed!

*

You rusty old tin can!

I abhor you

*

It never leaves us alone

Goodness knows why

It demands our every scrap

Perfuming our kitchen after its vengeful sigh

*

Now you see why

I hate that rusty old tin can?

*

It’s a sad story

I know

But we’ll get by

Somehow, so-so.

*****

I swear this thing was possessed. Rant over.

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